D - DAY HAS ARRIVED

[lea74]

Thank you all for your input - it is all appreciated. Well the last few days have been a little crazy. Have been receiving some really mean texts from OW. Not sure why as she never has before - I guess now that the D is finalised she feels that she has the right to. There seems to be a bit of desperation in her texts as well as possibly guilt (probably not though). Anyway I have been exploring this in another thread over on Newcomers. Of course I am just ignoring all communication from her.

I guess what I dont understand is how after being together for 21years my XH can allow her to attack me like this.

We also have goings on about childcare arrangments - he would like to have my sons a little longer but my kids dont want to. In the words of S10 they just want to go slowly. Unfortunately my XH has had them around her since he moved out and has hardly spent anytime alone with them. He kept saying that they were just friends. They would stay at her house and I was never told or even consulted.

I have never denied him access but he seems to think that I have. I am always in the middle as my kids dont feel comfortable talking to XH about what they want.

Anyway Poet, just like you my XH has done a great job up until this point of convincing him that everything was my fault. He even suggests that I have made him move in with OW and now says that I am being hurtful and vindictive towards him about seeing our sons.

I know that I should just ignore this and that it is probably his guilt that is lashing out at me - but it still hurts.

Any suggestions to move forward.