1. Your wife is still in wayward mode... You haven't beat that yet, you have just driven the affair away... further away... 2. Your wife thinks you are a liar partly because SHE is a liar. When people lie they get paranoid and start thinking everyone lies to them too.. its a psychological response 3. Don't expect your wife to tell you the truth fully yet 4. Don't talk about her feelings for OM, it just brings them BACK TO HER AGAIN... STOP ROMANTICIZING her affair talking about her "feelings for him" and how he "broke her heart".. you sound like HER... stop that 5. Give your wife your phone then if she doenst trust you.. you know how to build trust. 6. Your wife is brainwashing you into thinking SHE is trustworthy and that YOU making a CALL is BAD.. its NOT.. you are just following up and its acceptable right now... I would tell her to get used to it for the next six months and it will get more gradual over time... your WIFE has this self-righteous attitude that SHE is INNOCENT and YOu have no business checking up on her... She's Full of it.
I would maintain that
"I know you two weren't "just talking" and i know you two weren't "just friends"... everyone knows it.. ok?"
"I am going to call OMW sometimes to keep everything in the OPEN.. when people engage in TALK that is DESTRUCTIVE to their MARRIAGE BEHIND their spouses BACK it IS FAIR to CONFRONT THAT ACTIVITY.. and I WILL do that... If I go BEHIND YOUR BACK to do HARM to our MARRIAGE you can call me on that too... I would appreciate it, it will help me fly straighter and be fair to you... but this is RECIPROCAL... I will call OMW to check in on her marriage to make sure its getting better.. Its' the ADULT thing to do... YOU talking to her Husband BEHIND HER BACK was doing DAMAGE...damage I am trying to repair... ok?"
