To be honest, it sounds like you two both had things to get off your chest... And neither of you are in aplace where they can come out gently so they come out as a shout instead.
There will be bad days, I WARNED you a blow up was coming... and there will be more... but FEWER than before and not as bad usually.
1. Don't argue with your wife, just give her space, STOP BITING as you put it and let it GO 2. Stop romanticizing her affair... talking about him "breaking her heart" just sentimentalizes her nonsense behaviour. 3. The HUGE RED LIGHT i heard was her talking about a fairytale life with you being impossible... Fairytale lives ARE IMPOSSIBLE PERIOD.. that's why they are FAIRY TALES... A Fairy Tale is a story about soemthing that ISN'T TRUE
YOur wife is still romanticizing marriage WAY TOO MUCH and when reality hits.. she thinks YOU are the problem. Your wife needs marriage education, she has unreasonable expectations of marriage... Check out MWD's ten marriage myths... your wife likely is falling for many of them.
4. She was snooping into the books you got as I thought she would... that's good..
She's got a lot of rage about work and the OM and her embarassment right now... do NOT volunteer to be the punching bag for that... stay OUT of it... let her be angry at someone else, you do NOT want to create painful memories for her.
You are doing well here despite what you may think. You need to STOP ARGUING and stop taking her bait.. she baits you and you fall for it... WALK AWAY
TELL HER outright..
"You are baiting me for an argument here and I don't want one... I am not being rude, I just don't want a fight so I am going to go away now and calm myself down ok?"
And you walk away...
Don't say it mean or accusingly or even loudly, say it calmly, just tell her that she's inviting an argument and you don't want to fight... and walk away... Don't wait for her to reply or anything.. say what i wrote above and slowly walk away...
