Hi GR8 - sorry, I already have a partner. LOL Two actually, one for Latin and one for International Standard - one of these partners is my 24 year old son. (Both of my kids dance).
Okay ........ so I finished reading DR last night and I SO wanted to call my husband or swing by his place, and give him the book and ask him to please, please, PLEASE read the last chapter, because it is us - to a tee! Actually, there are a lot of scenarios/advice throughout the book that are spot-on and totally pertinent to us and our situation.
However, as much as I want to have contact with him and I have so many things I want to say to him, and I would like for him to read the book - even if just the last chapter - I know this is a fantasy. If I contact him, he is going to flip out, and if I show up where he is living he will probably call the police and have me arrested, or at the very minimum, file a police report. He hates me that much.
I am definitely struggling, but trying to get a grip. I am trying to be patient, and have been praying a lot and really trying to put this in God's hands and just stay out of it and allow God to work on each of us separately. I know this is something that has to work out in God's timing - not mine.
The waiting and uncertainty is killing me. After that disaster of a phone conversation I had with him a week and a half ago, I resolved not to contact him since he specifically said "Don't ever call me again!" He hasn't called me, and he hasn't called our son either. Neither of us has called him, me for obvious reasons, and my son because my son says he hates his dad and (putting it nicely ...) doesn't care if dad dies.
I would get coaching because I really feel it would be beneficial to me, but since I was already set to file bankruptcy prior to my husband leaving me, I have NO credit cards, and husband only left us with $500 to live on. So, basically, I am here to seek the advice of people who have gone through this, or are going through this now. I want to know what things you have done that have worked.
Since I go through my emotions and feelings here, angry and resentful one minute, and weepy, sad, missing him the next, but learning to set aside my anger and pride, and being "right", do you guys think he is going through the same things? Or, is he just stuck at the anger and hatred stage? He has never been able to see things from my perspective, which is a major contributing factor to our problems. Is it likely that he is experiencing any sadness or missing me and his family? Or is he just over there in his little furnished condo thinking about golf, golf, golf, and more golf 24/7 (as his email interactions with his buddies suggest) and meeting women and getting sex and hating me?
This is Memorial Day weekend, and according to his emails he is golfing every day, except Sunday, and I don't know what he has going on then. That hasn't come up in the emails yet, but I suspect he met someone and has a date because for him to forego golf with his buddies, he must be getting laid or something. This hurts me beyond hurt! I can't stop thinking and wondering about it, and I feel like calling him or something to get him to come over and see his son or anything on Sunday. Anything to prevent him from doing whatever it is he has planned. But, again, I know that is wishful (and foolish) thinking, and a bad, self-defeating strategy.
