Confused and looking for advice

[hockeymom12]

So another confusing night in my household and I really do not even know how to describe it but I will try. I had to meet H at the mall so he could take our s10 home while I went to an appt with our d15, this could have been a simple exchange of meeting him outside and really having no contact at all, however he decided to come into the mall and meet us on our way out. So I acted normal and like nothing was wrong and then just left with our d15 when we got to our vehicles, he seemed fine during this time.

Once I returned home he was still there, so I went into the house and changed into my walking clothes, I grabbed my ipod and water and started to head out, during this time we had a quick conversation about our d15's ball schedule. I could tell something was bothering him, as I was leaving to go for my walk he left at the same time, I said to him are you okay today and he said he was just tired so I told him to have a good night and I put my music on and started to walk. He then pulled up beside me and this is when it started, at first he started yelling at me for something my dad had done, this upset me because my parent's have been very supportive and all that I have as support during this time and he did not need to attack my dad like that, during this I stayed somewhat calm and refused to start yelling and prove to him that I am not changing. So after he had his say I put my headphones and and started to walk again, however as he drove away I was so frustrated that I raised my arms in frustration and this caused him to stop his truck and yell at me are you F****** kidding me, I walked up to him and said in a somewhat calm voice that he was not aware of all the facts in regards to my Dad and that he needed to stop being so sensitive, during this exchange he got teary eyed. I then asked him if he liked taking out his stress on me, I had not done anything to provoke him tonight, I had left him alone, no questions and was trying to be nice to him even though I did not want any contact with him. He then went into another complaint because I had spent money on the kids for clothes and this upset him off because he has no spending money, cannot put gas in his vehicle or eat, at this point I said can I say something to you and he responded, yes I know I left so it is all my fault, to which I replied, no what I was going to say is that the kids still need items and I will not apologize for buying those, however what he needs to realize is that we could not afford to drive 2 vehicles every where we go when we were together, this is why we carpooled, so what does he think would be different now that he has left. During this exchange he was crying. This seemed to hit him as if he had never thought of it that way. After this he calmed down and I touched his face and said have a good night, he smiled and said you too. I put my music on again and started walking away.

I think the fact that he sees that I am okay without him might be getting to him, not that he is regretting his decision or anything but that he does not understand what is going on.