still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

OK cleaned up kitchen- going to take S to tumble class after this!

Hmmm...Thank you Laura for those suggestions. I have said things like S sure loves his daddy! S is happy to see you! But not using the word respect. I respect your level of commitment to S? I respect your role as a dad? I respect how much you are working and still coming back and forth to see your son???? Not sure....

As for dropping hints, you see he mostly did acts of service or picked stuff up on his own- without any hint from me whatsoever! So my goal isn't really to get him to buy me stuff--it is to get him to WANT to buy me stuff, you know? To desire it.

I do think he is expecting me to cave on my stance, though. Over the last year, I have said :
March 09: I want a divorce!
a month goes by
April 09"I don't know if I want a divorce."
a couple months go by
July 09 He says he thinks he has to divorce me. I say "Fine! I want a divorce! No I don't! I don't know!"
a month goes by
August 09 He says he needs to get the divorce started I say "No, I don't want a divorce"
October 09 He says he needs to complete the paperwork
I say "I don't want this divorce! It's your choice!"

March 2010 he says he has to make a decision and he needs to go through with the paperwork. I say "No!!!! I don't want this!" (not those exact words)
After discussion, he says he has doubts and that he doesn't want to lose me (among other things).

I few days later I tell him I don't want the divorce, I want to reconcile but if he decides to divorce, fine, I will move forward.

April 2010 he says he has decided this is what he wants and doesn't want to keep hurting me. I tell him ok, here is the work I have done in preparation and show him. He says "Wow, you have been thinking about this!" I say "yeah- I told you I had plans for my future."

I start the new visitation arrangement. I start doing more with my single parent groups. I stop communicating as much with him.

He hasn't brought up paperwork discussion, neither have I.

My point for listing out the timeline is you see how every time he has said "OK I want to do this" I say "NO!!!!"

BUT THIS TIME he said "OK I want to do this" I said "Ok."
So to me now I have to prove to him that I am serious and not playing around and won't say "NOOOO! I change my mind! Please don't!" or start pursuing him.

Am I making sense here?
OK off to play with S!