You are going to be tempted to TELL him all these things your realize in yourself...
Don't.
Make the changes and live them, when he comments Thank him for noticing and then tell him what you realized. But HE has to see it, not have it pointed out to him...pointing it out...is more of the same stuff you are trying to change.
Thanks for the reminder! And yep ... it's definitely tempting! He has noticed some of my changes already - he's commented on me being more fun for example. And he's mentioned a couple of times that he keeps waiting for me to 'lose it' or 'blow up'. I just said, with a smile, keep waiting ... ain't gonna happen
I'm making a conscious effort to be more appreciative too. I'm living gratitude, and not just towards my H (but especially towards him when it's genuine and warrented - no fake stuff here) ... I'm looking for silver linings on every cloud I see! One of the things he said he did 6 years ago to try to make things better was concentrate on the little things and I never noticed ... well I am noticing now!
Peace, PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
