This is really, REALLY good! Thanks so much for posting it. I've read both the link you posted and checked out Jim Conway's site. Things are beginning to make more sense now.
I know I can't change him, though Lord knows I've tried! A friend pointed out that in addition to the MLC, WH has NO frame of reference for a long, happy marriage in his DNA. Chaos and abuse on both sides of his family for generations. Starting around the Civil War, EVERY male on his father's side has either divorced or abandoned his family by age 50.
By contrast, we have very few divorces in my family. My maternal grandparents divorced in the 1930's and there was such a stigma attached to it that my mother rarely talked about her childhood or her father.
Startling stats:
*In marriages where both sets of parents divorced, the divorce rate is about 80%.
*In marriages where one person's parents divorced and one didn't, the divorce rate is about 50%.
*In marriages where neither set of parents divorced, the divorce rate is about 10%.
Staggering, huh?
We repeat what we learn from our parents, to stay together or to walk away. SCARY! I'll be sure to gear my children toward finding mates from non-divorced households!
Right now I'm making plans and gathering intel. After reading the link you posted above and considering the timeline, I believe we're coming up on year 4 of the MLC and 3.5 on the EA. Maybe the end's in sight. I'm still going day-to-day, good days/bad days, but at least I'm understanding more and can act accordingly. It makes me realize that this has much less to do with me and more to do with his MLC and how he was raised.
