Divorce in 1 month Help with exposing please need

[twolf]

I told WAW lets get this divorce over with im ready to move on.
I told her atleast i realy tryed hard to save our marrige and family. at times some things might of made me look like a fool, but everything i did so our son would not grow up in a broken home.
At least now i can walk waay knowing i gave it my all so ive come to the point that in my mind and heart its time for me to stop trying and move on.
Lets get every thing figured out I would like joint 50/50 custody till son starts prescholl, i think thats rhe right thing to do.
That will give us a clean break and our son will get good qualty time with both parents that love him very much.

She texted me that we are not on the same page and don plan on the 50/50 happning.We will handle it in mediation.

Im going to see my L today, my son and I didnt ask for this and we should not be the ones to loose out.

" the dog is off his chain" TWOLF

[Allen A]

Hey TWolf.. have you done any research on infidelity?

Affairs dont' last long term.. less than 1% success rate for affair couples... so don't think these two are going to run off into the sunset together and live happily ever after...

Doesn't happen...

The more public you make the OM's assault on your home the quicker this thing ends.

[twolf]

Allen... make it public to who? every one knows they have known for months. Every one exept BIL everyone told me yesterday to move on and exept it that im accting like a fool.
They support her in her desion. Said it does not matter she is a grown girl. She was right their was nothing to hide,because everyone new they just didnt want me to know so the divorce would go easey.
Im done everyone that i thought was my family are people with no morale values.

Im moving on TWOLF

[Allen A]

Maintain your position. When your son is 20 and wants to know why the marriage failed you can tell him :

"I never stopped loving your mother. I NEVER MOVED ON during our marriage. Your mother divorced you and I to run off with OM which never worked out anyways... It was a tragic waste. But, my son, KNOW that I always maintained I wanted to save our marriage and that I wanted her to STOP CHEATING."

You DO want to be able to say something like that in 20 years yes?

Stop saying you've moved on then. Just hold your position and remain respectable...

Put your son first in every way, through divorce etc. Your wife's affair WILL NOT LAST LONG TERM... They never do. Especially when someone is vocal about it being harmful and destructive...

I am not saying run around town like a fool yelling at the top of your lungs, but if the subject comes up... maintain your position... Don't say you've "moved on"... that legitimizes her affair.

Detachment is what you are aiming for... its discussed at length on this forum... This is the direction you need to take.. not "moved on".

[twolf]

its been going on for a year and my wifes family and the O/M familt are doing birthdays and now they have other couples they are doing things with.

[MrBond]

Any reason why you let it go on for so long. I mean, your son deserves better. Good luck in fighting for your right as his father.

[twolf]

The reason i let it go on so long i was doing the LRT and it got me no where.

Asked WAW yesterday if i could keep SON2 for monday she said no. Real damn grown up on her part.She said she wants to spend the day with him before she has to go to work blah blah blah. I dont get to see him but every couple weeks.

Then she starts going on how she doesnt want me telling son to say miss dady, love dady. IVE NEVER DONE THIS. Then she starts ranting and raving that im doing this to make her feel guilty.

All i said it must be your consious.

Then she wanted to talk to son so i let her and he started saying dady and didnt really talk to her.
Then she gets mad at me like im the one making him say this and not wanting to talk.


Its funny when i have my son he wont let me out of his sight and he says dady every other word i can only imagine how its been for her the last few weeks when i talk to him on the phone him saying miss dady. when i call lately he talks for 10 min and when she calls he does not hardley say anything. She asks whats wrong and wy wont he talk to me and, i say i dont have any idea.
Maybey she will get a clue some day.

[sandi2]

Then she starts going on how she doesnt want me telling son to say miss dady, love dady. IVE NEVER DONE THIS. Then she starts ranting and raving that im doing this to make her feel guilty.

You are, according to that post you sent saying you were hoping he would say that.

I think im goig to just talk with son on the phone every night, i know with him saing dady i love you and miss you and stuff about his elmo stuff it kinda bothers her what she is doing.

The sooner you get a visitation schedule in place and make sure she sticks to it, the sooner you'll get to see your son. She is not going to be fair about any of this. Both of you enjoy pushing each other's buttons.

[Allen A]

The reason i let it go on so long i was doing the LRT and it got me no where.

I did the same thing... tried for months and months.. I love the DR book but if there is an affair going on you would do best to toss that book out the window.. It does a MISERABLE job of helping you when an affair is taking place

Harley, Tupy, Glass, those are infidelity experts and know how to combat an affair..

Sorry TWolf, LRT isn't very effective combatting infidelity... I love DR, but that part of the book I do NOT agree with ...

There are many on this forum in particular who don't follow MWD advice when infidelity is at work

Your wife does feel guilty, that is a good sign...

[twolf]

Update the stbxw and i texted today today.

ME...let her know a freind of ours showed up this mornning.

She...you and i arnt freinds dont text me unless it has to do with son , your acctions are the reason we cant talk im not your wife or property.

Me... Wtf are you talking about and who cares about the family wrecker.Im just telling you dave showed up this mornning and if you cant be an adult about things. Thats your deal ive been a good man father and husband and i dont loose sleep at night because every marrige has a dry spell where you qestion your self and if we cant talk thats on you.

WAW...you dont get it . I dont want to talk to you. your actions cause drama and greif in my life. If it was not for sonwe would have no reason to talk.PS. how could he be homewrecker if we didnt start dateing till after you filled seperation papers. tell freind hi.

ME...Thats a lie i know the truth i seen him sneeking around and showing up at events as i was leaving. Him calling you a 150 times in one month and texting 1000 times.And when you stayed at your brotheres house and you telling me he is like your brother and you would never sleep with him. I am not a stupid person i dont feel bad because i tryed to protect my family from peoplethat would destroy my family and would give addvice and play with our son to act like a dad to take an advantage of my wife. We were having a down time in our marrige from lifes problems.atleast when our son gets in his 20s i will tell him that i fought to save our family till yhe day that your mom divorced me.

WAW...By the way ive dated other people too.. would you like their names and numbers and the places where they work so you can harass them too.

ME...Im tired of you lieing to me and shi$%ing on me and our son if you cant see that everyone qestions their marrige and about life being to short or being un happy that is life people deal with it.

WAW..I didnt shi^ on you i left. That is all i have done. You are the one who made my life the living hell.Accept that Eveeryone that you have harrassed with your nonsence thinks that you need to get over it and move on.

WAW... I would of been unhappy and bitter and depressed Had i stayed it would of gotten worse. Why do you continue to go around and around with meon this. I DONT LOVE YOU. that couldnt of changed. Do you think that one of these days the light bulb is going to come on. and that i will magicaly say "oh please let me come back" I was wrong" dont hokd your breath... it isnt going to happen and the sooner you realize that and move on with your life the better off we will all be.

ME... When are you going to wake up Ive never tryed to fight with you only for you and our family. I know what we had and so do you im trying to prove to you that what we had and could have again is worth fighting for i know that you are a better person then you are accting like right now.

WAW...Thatt is the part you dont get in my eyes their was nothing worth fighting for. You make my life miserable with your manipulation and drama. You have to much pride to just let me go it seems as if you think its a competion. Im not a prize im a person that no longer wants to be in a relationship with you. The [censored] you put me through is un healthy and abusive and im fed up with it. YOU need professional help.

ME...What head games and manipulatiom?

WAW...The herassing my family and freinds. The guilt trips you pull on me.

ME... I have not pulled any guilt trips and im not the one lies. your family is still our family. If you our feeling guilt that is you ive just told you how i feel. I still love you and belive in the journey that we started together and our beautifull son that we created. I never new that the few problems we had would push you to someone else for emotinal support when i was here the whole time needing the same thing that you needed that we should of found in each other.
More to come later any addvice please help.

She did say that he is the love of her life and marrring me was a mistake because he was allwasys their and .