I told her that I love and respect her and her daughter very much
That was a good touch, IMO. It warms my heart when my SIL tells me he loves & respects me and my daughter. Like I said, as long as MIL doesn't think you are trying to work "through her" to get to the W, then she may allow you to get closer. Since she has influence over her D, it never hurts to have her support.
Just be careful not to say too much right away. You'll be anxious, so take it easy.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
