Hey NEwmom, the part about relaxing in the house--I think he won't think that until you are a little warmer and more inviting--seems you have been waiting near the door, not really talking and so he feels pressure to leave.
Maybe make comments like "oh, darn, forgot to get xyz today--I'll pick it up tomorrow..." See if he picks up on any of that.
And try a phrase that has respect in it (I am rather fixated on respect, since I read the book.lol) And I know, ULTIMATELY it's tough when they are doing what they are doing but...one phrase like "H, I really respect how wonderful you are with S." (think of your own way of saying that).
They say it's a really powerful way to get to a guy. And to stop the "crazy cycle", you have to start with SOMETHING.
You can get to your H through your S--OW doesn't have this advantage!
