still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Thanks Whatnow- this is how I feel as well:

I am confident you will be just fine. This board is the one place we can discuss our spouses with those who know what infidelity truly feels like. It is the one place we can focus on the infidelity without being told to get over it. IRL we have plenty of support for GALing, and that is where we are actually GALing and focusing on ourselves.

But I also feel this is the one place where I get true support for wanting to keep my marriage- most of the friends IRL seem to think I am crazy at this point!

I was reflecting on the goals I set for myself in regard to WH and what I have accomplished in the last month and what I want to get done this month. So far, I have been achieving 100% of the goals for MY actions (meaning I am doing what I said I would be doing):

My actions that will draw WH to me:

-I keep losing weight and my body gets sexier every day
-I am tan (lol!) and have nice hair and makeup
-I am busy making plans- when we exchange S, I am dressed to go somewhere, and I initiate conversation about coordinating timing on the drop offs so that I am home in time
-I stick to the limited contact conversation and continue to find ways to limit his time at the house
-I only initiate contact with him if it is about the schedule or urgent issue w/ S
-I continue to take care of the garbage, get his mail, and avoid asking for help with things around the house. He will have to find the stuff to do which will show that he is LOOKING for reasons to want to be at the house.

So now I must reflect on what WH has done in this last month:

How will I know he is doing this:

-He will be asking me questions about where I am going or what I am doing
he hasn't asked me EXACTLY "where are you going?" "what are you doing?" but he has shown behaviors like yesterday when he was trying to figure out if I was going to Bunco. He has been asking what time he should drop S off (don't know if this counts). I can't put into words, but on Tuesday he was visibly curious about what I was doing that night!

-I will see him looking at my body and feeling attracted to me again
Yes, I have caught him "checking me out"

-He will try to talk to me because he enjoys my attention, personality, and warmth.
I am his true best friend.

yes, he has been lingering (off and on) to make conversation about S

and try to hang around the house because it is inviting and relaxing
haven't seen this so much...

-He may try to do favors or buy me or S things (stuff we might need at the store)
I haven't seen this a whole lot lately- it seems he did it more when I was letting him visit S at the house- so I will watch and wait

-He will drop discussion of divorce/paperwork
yes

-He will grow tired of his guilt, doubt and pressure from OW and end his relationship with her
in progress? (lol!)

-He will ask to come back!
not yet

So for these next 4 weeks, I want to see more of his curiosity about my plans, continue checking me out, continue trying to make conversation, continue to not bring up discussion of paperwork

I would like to see him start do favors or buy stuff at the store, find work to do around the house, end his relationship (affair!!) with OW, and ask to come back to me.

So I will continue doing what I am doing for now!