Is the fact that he never considers pursuing me again a sign that there is no hope he'll ever reconcile with me?
RLay this may be hard to understand. The pain he is in is greater than you will ever know or understand. This you must understand. You hurt but everything in his world sucks. He is trying to make the pain go away.
He is running from you and BLAMES you for all of his pain. While he is in this place it is pointless and I would venture masochistic to subject yourself to it.
You are still attached.
Originally Posted By: rlay
Are there any moves or anything I could be saying right now to "woo" him back to me while he is "lonely"?
Yes. Focus on YOU. Make changes in YOU for YOU. Detach from him and let him live his life. Let his turmoil twirl without YOU in it.
I am sorry to tell you this truth. You will not "woo" him back. This takes a LONG time and you have no control over it. Stop focusing on him and his OW. Stop snooping.
You have to come to grips with what has happened here. Your M is dead. If your H came back now your M would not be different. There is a process that he must go through and that process takes time.
I suggest you reread some of the stuff OP gave you links for.
There is a process the LBS goes through and you have to undertand that too. You can get stuck.
When you get stuck we will help you get unstuck if we can BUT you must listen.
Rlay I know you think your sitch is special in some hopefully special way. We all come here hoping that.
It is not. You however, ARE special. Focus on YOU. Spend this time you have while standing for your M for YOU. For your children make a better YOU.
If I may venture take a look at my experience on standing I posted on my thread recently and also on shelbel's thread.
All these pieces you must understand and you will in time but it takes courage.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
