I don't think she's spoken too badly about me to others. We actually work together (on separate floors), and I haven't picked up on any negative vibes from anyone.
If anything, she's told a few people that our marriage wasn't working and that she wasn't happy. In other words, she blames our marriage. In her mind, her feelings for OM, in her words, "shown a light" on the fact that she couldn't stay married anymore.
Like so many others, she gave me the ILYBINILWY line. She may not "feel" love for me now, but I honestly believe she still cares a great deal for me. She felt a lot of guilt after she first left 3 months ago, and guilt has always been the number one emotion that's plagued her over the years, but I think some of her guilt has subsided since leaving. She thinks she's happier now, especially since she's got OM and they're still in the "it's all good" stage of the affair (which probably started as an EA online about a year ago).
She's a peculiar woman. She may still be in the fog, but she very well may be completely serious and certain about her choices. She's always been mostly an all-or-nothing person, and, when she makes up her mind about something, she rarely changes it.
Of course, one could say she changed her mind about being married to me after 17 years, so anything can happen in the future. She could change her mind again.
I'm preparing for either outcome. I'm GALing and moving on as if the divorce will happen, but I'd also at least consider reconciling if she were to leave OM and want to try again. So far she's not given any indication that she wants anything of than a divorce. Since she's still in contact with OM, I'm still doing LRT.
You all continue to be a source of strength. Thanks for your help.
