"He said it. He's still here. I have to believe that is something."
I agree.
"We've been walking on glass around each other the past few months and we actually had an honest argument where we just let out our feelings. It was over in about 3 minutes. Even though it wasn't a big deal, I can't help but be encouraged that we are relaxing a little with each other and that we can have conflict over something minor and it not turn into a huge deal about the big picture. I am also glad I was able to stick up for myself instead of just letting it go because I am afraid he's going to leave. I have little boys and I cannot let them see that it is ok to treat a woman as a doormat."
What was the argument about? What resolved it?
"I have little boys and I cannot let them see that it is ok to treat a woman as a doormat."
Don't overdo it. You also want them to see that a woman can build up a man... when she puts her mind to it. It is a fine line... but women are "smarter".. right?
"They have no idea we're having these problems."
Really.. you think so? After 40 years? They don't know?
Maybe.. they were speaking in "code".
People only talk about a 5 year plan.. when they see potential. Even if you are f'ing up.. they will still talk about it. They hope you get it. I really like your parents by the way.
Don't you dare talk it over with them. It will change their perspective. Let that ride.
"I'm trying so hard to just get through the week and see each day as a success. I would so love to have a 5 year plan!"
You have a 5 day plan.. I asked you to do it.. you said you would.
5 days.. everyday.. make someone smile. Carry that home with you. Act as if you are still married. Don't say it.. do it.
Walk in the house knowing that today.. you made a random person smile. And you could do it again tomorrow. One day.. just by doing that.. you H is gonna smile.
Don't tell him you love him.. don't tell him you are there for him.
Show him.
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"Your marriage is about to end, and you are afraid of telling anybody how you will know your marriage is getting better?"
In the confines of a C session.. It could be ok to lay out what you think and feel. What your goals are.. and what you are looking for.
At the same time.. her C has asked some really weird questions.
I question her C some. Not sure what the C "goals" are.
For now.. we leave it at that.
"Well, if you don't do anything different and neither does your H, then it's going to end."
So.. so far you have told her that her marriage is over.. twice.
He knows where the door is. He goes out it at least once a day.
He just needs to know that when he goes out of it for the last time.. it was his choice.
Sorry about that TimeHeals. I get what you are saying. But in this instance I disagree with you.
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Still pondering your last statement to me ReelingW/aSmile.
Did you ever figure it out?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
