I do not know for sure if he is coming over - he has not tried to contact me at all and I have stood very strong in making absoltuely no contact whatsoever (unless someone dies). My thought is that he knows that I am out of the house on Thursday so he may be waiting until then to get his things. Another possiblity is that he isn't sure where he going to be staying so he is leaving his things here until he figures it out. Another options is that maybe he is not sure about leaving so he doesn't want to get his things (one can hope, right?)
CityGirl - I read your story and it does sound a lot like me. My WH isn't currently having an affair but he has had one before but much of his actions are similar to those of your H. WH just left on Saturday but already he is trying to be friends and acts guilty. It just can't work like that.
Unfortunately, I haven't come to a place where I'm ready to let it all go yet. You are so strong! Good for you!
I still hold out hoope that we can repair. I have come to the realization (as you did) that my WH harbors deep resentment toward me that have never been addressed and I believe this has overshadowed positive feelings for me. In the beginnning of our marriage there was A LOT of stress due to job changes, etc. The previous 7 years of dating were wonderful but its like we took this turn and haven't able to get back. I think what happened was that the previous 7 years we faced smaller obstacles but then when stuff got really bad (right after we got married)neither of us had the skills to effectively deal with them together and we just collided. We did try therapy several times but I don't think either of us knew how bad it was and discussed stupid stuff like chores, etc. This revelation is relatively new and it makes me sad that WH was not able to express effectively the hurt that has been building up and can't remember how well we used to work together.
We are so great for each other. He is my best friend and such a wonderful man. I just hope that he does a little soul searching and maybe someday can find his way back. It can never be the same but I think it could be new and even better if we learned to work together.
