Thanks coach. What I'm hoping for is for her to initiate the suggestion to attend MC, rather than me. Then I will agree if she agrees to drop the OM. I will have more confidence that it won't be a waste of time if SHE suggests it.
I don't mean this in a harsh way, but a curious one: what are you getting out of living in the fantasy-land that you've described above?
Meaning, based on everything you've written about your wife's action, she doesn't want to go to marriage counseling because she is no longer married to you. Yes, technically, you are legally married, but the essence of the marriage, wanting to be around each other, being supportive and loving, and working together as a team...that's not there. Not at all. You aren't married.
You may think that I'm biased against her church by wrongly thinking it was of an evangelical stripe, but I remember that you said it was made up of a lot of former Catholics and they know you are Catholic. I'm Catholic too, I get the spiritual rules you were taught.
But what I'm saying is the religion of this church is irrelevant. It wouldn't matter if they were Catholic, non-demoninational, Baptist, or worshipped Liz Taylor. They are a bunch of liars, or at least the way you explain your wife talks about it.
Think about it..the guy who BAPTIZED her, the one who knows she's cheating, condones it. He BAPTIZED a liar. And you wife took part of one of the most important acts in a Christian's life -to be baptized - knowing that she was sinning. This is so fully of malarky, I'm surprised you're not in manure sales.
If your wife wanted to come back to you, she would. Don't you think if she wanted to be rid of the OM, he'd be gone already. I mean, she already dropped you, there's no difference bw you and him...that is, except the one that she prefers to be with.
Think about the parable Jesus uses, about the sower and the seed. Your love is the seed, but you are throwing it on rocky and dead ground. Throw your seed where it will grow.
That place - from everything you've said - is not there. It is barren.
