You have a great way of writing down your thoughts.
I like that your coworkers notice some of your XW's character flaws. It probably helps to allow you to know that it was not just you.
One of the ladies I dated and keep in contact with is co-owner of her business with her XH (antibody production from chicken eggs). She pretty much runs it and he provides the scientific part. She told me that she has as little interaction with him as possible.
Putting myself in your situation, I dont think I would want to talk to or listen from my XW about past experiences together. I try to always discuss things in the present and future with her.
I suspect maybe one reason you had a harder time getting over things after the bomb and D is that you did not have children together. You and your wife probably did a lot of things together as just husband and wife. Having kids tends to take away that close bond. When my wife left, I still had my kids to keep me busy. I think that I can understand how much harder it would be emotionally for someone in your situation.
Are you ready for another relationship now? From seeing some of your facebook pictures and travels, you certainly have the opportunity.
