I had an appointment with my councelor today. We talked about the visit W had with him. I didn't get any specifics except she still feels the same about our R. I told him my theory of how I think my W is blaming me for all the mistakes her XH made. My councelor doublted this theory. However, he thinks b/c she got married and divorced so young she didn't have a chance to live her life. Since we dated shortly after her D there wasn't enough time for her to experience the single life.
Since there's no hope in site, I told my C how I tried to break my attachment with her. What I was doing was picturing all the good times with my W and visualizing them going into a box, taping up the box and then throwing the box to the back of my mind. The other thing I told him I did was to take everything my wife had or done wrong and re-word it into something negative rather than look for the positive. The first thing I was doing he was okay with, the psychological term for it is called compartmentialization. The second thing I was doing he didn't like, he called it's demonizing.
After our session was over I told my wife everything. How he said I was demonizing her which was bad, but the compartmentializaton thing was good. Then I told her how Ive been pushing my boss for a raise. If the raise is enough I will be moving out. I told her I love her but we don't seem to want the same things.
After my talk the house seemed quietier, but peaceful. When my W left for work she hugged me much tighter than she usually does. Then she gave me a little peck on the lips before she left.
