My ex's OW controls him terribly also. All my ex cares about is that she pays attention to him. He will do anything as long as she admires and adores him. Attention is the narcisists drug of choice.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11