Thanks Michelle. I'm really trying very hard to stop looking at things negatively. Taking active, positive steps toward my goals and being more confident in myself.
Not easy but definitely improving!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Being responsible for my own happiness also requires me to speak up when something hurts me. It requires that I be deliberate in my speech and actions and not expect Gabe to 'just know'.
So many relationships are ruined because we are expected to "just know" what's going on.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
It requires creating new habits, which is very very difficult. But you have been making wonderful progress and I am glad to see you consciously choosing to keep it up!
You are an amazing and wonderful woman!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I think you are making progress on yourself. It shows in your interactions with Gabe.
I used to always get mad at ex at holidays because I needed help with family coming over. You would ahve thought after 19 years that he knew I needed help. He would just sit there watching tv while I went crazy. He would always say you just have to ask. I would say I shouldn't have to. Someone has to break the cycle.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
He would just sit there watching tv while I went crazy. He would always say you just have to ask. I would say I shouldn't have to. Someone has to break the cycle.
You and I were living in the same house kat!!! Holidays were always the HUGE stressor. Gabe hates every holiday and avoids everything. I have a huge family and always do a lot of the cooking for the group which makes me stressed. I thought he would at least help me but he didn't which made me mad and then I got snippy and it was all downhill from there.
I don't expect anyone to know how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking no matter how long they've known me. Mind reading is not one of my skills so why would it be theirs?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I snapped at XH one time during the whole PA right before we S cuz he told me that if we were meant to be together I would have known what was wrong and he wouldn't have to tell me. I told him that I did know he wasn't feeling well, but when I asked he always told me that he'd had a bad day at work or at school, it was never about me/us. I then asked him if I was supposed to know he was lying. He stubbornly repeated that the fact that I didn't know meant we weren't meant to work things out. I (VERY sarcastically) told him, "oh, so my biggest failing as a wife is that I'm not a good enough mind reader?" He didn't have a good comeback to that LOL. Rather he told me that he never lied to me (yeah right) that his only failing was perhaps crimes of omission, not lies. *rolls eyes*
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Oh don't you just love how they redefine the word?? I may have told this before but my ex told me once that he was no longer having an affair. I was slightly shocked but then he continued...yeah because it isn't a secret anymore.
Let me hand you a dictionary buddy!!
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
LOL! They really can be completely dellusional can't they? I think if anyone wants to know what crazy looks like we should just hand them pics of our ex's. LOL!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
