Ready2Change. When I said "As far as the house is concerned I don't believe if I stayed in the house that he would stop contributing to it." I was commenting on your previous reponse about my house response where you said "if you can afford it then that is a good answer."
I basically don't think he would take away support at least not now. He seemed confused or at least his actions indicate that - at least to me unless I am reading too much into it.
As far the other woman thing. I think this has multiple reasons that I don't completely understand. I think part of it is probably thrill seeking - kind of like he does with ganmbling and drinking. I also think that after he had the affair I think he started to compare our relationship to the feelings he had during the affair. I also think my weight plays a part. I am working on losing weight - I know for sure I wil feel better about myself and I think he will notice that.
Like I said, the first 6-7 years of our relationship were great - we were very in love and had great sex.. Right before we got married things changed a bit and then got dramatically wrse almost overnight. I wish he could remember the good times and see that we never learned the tools to move forward productiively.
I can't move forward with the way things were and he obviously can't either but I believe it can change. My hope is to at least get to a place where he will consider counseling while we are seperated and I would want to do the DB telephone sessions. I think we need something intensive and to the point. We have been in counseling on two seperate occassions (several months each time) and I never felt like we truly resolved anything and I didn't feel like we really learned new skills. Certain things would get better and other things would stay the same.
