Thank you so much for your very strong words of encouragement and explanation of why things are as they are.
I relish reading a post from someone who's been through the storm as long ago as you have ... and come out the other side intact.
I don't know. Call my needy. Call me silly if you want, but I look up to the oldtimers. I believe you know more about me than I do -- not literally, of course. And its not that I look up to you so much for definitions of who I am, or what happens in my future, or my past; but more about the scenarios of life after divorce, and maybe even why things happen, or about what leaving someone else says about the WAS.
In fact, I know I crave that knowing...that knowing what walking away says about the WAS. And even more than knowing, I needed to know the tiny little details about why they tried so, so hard to make us think it is/was our fault.
I can remember being devastated, almost insanely so (you can read my earliest posts if you really feel a need) but trust me, I was clearly incoherent. My H had me believing I was the flaw in the marriage, so much so that I had myself convinced it were true. It wasn't until I went to an intervention therapist who works with batterers and their wives, when I found out the my H was the real culprit in the marriage. And then, it was a long hard haul to get to the point where I was just OK with who I am.
Sorry for babbling on your thread, Lea. I think I'll go over to my own thread and splash it on there so I don't lose these thoughts in the mix.
Thanks again, wonder, poet My thread: This train: rolling down a no-come-back track
