The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Honestly, it's not that bad. I get what I get. I don't have any expectations. This is not about me so there isn't anything for me to do really. She's mean and nasty towards me, but part of that is that she is not getting what she wants. Not sure what it is that she wants, but I don't think she knows. I see this as her trip and I'm not invited. Once I let go of the expectations and said goodbye to the remainder of the shared hopes and dreams, I actually find myself quite relieved. I haven't fully let go of the possibility of a future together, but I don't dwell on it any longer. The craziness? I can deal with that and I feel that I am very well.
I realize that she has absolutely nothing left to hurt me with. I think she is starting to as well, but that doesn't stop her from trying. She seems to be curious about me and the things going on in my life. That's fine with me. I leave it like that. My gift to her is that I am letting go. I am putting my anger where it belongs when appropriate and not getting carried away. In some regards I am shutting down the rest of the way. I haven't done that over time. I know that now. I have gained a great deal of perspective and I am educating myself about all kinds of aspects to this situation. It helps. I've been able to connect a lot more of the dots in a way that works for me. Whether true or not, I can't tell yet and may never be able to. But I am learning to accept more fully and honestly, most of my days are very good. Even with her in the house. I don't get sick to my stomach any longer when I see her. I honestly could care less most of the time. More and more.
So her living in the house most likely bothers her way more than it does me. That's her issue, not mine. My concerns are the kids and myself. I have no other concerns at this point.

AJ