Hey everyone! I was able to get a little more sleep last night. I tried to venture outside my house yesterday evening because I needed to have new tires put on my car and I was breaking down left and right. I know (hopefully?) this will pass but even doing simple things are difficult right now.
I need some advice. I'm pretty sure WH is going to contact me in the next couple days. When he came over on Sunday I wasn't able to process anything and told him we would need to discuss it later. He said he would call me later in the week.
Based on Sunday he was moving full steam ahead already - telling me he wanted to put the house on the market right away, get a mediator, etc. I know everyone says they move slower than they say they will but I just want to make sure the things I'm saying to him aren't SPEEDING up that process as I obviously don't want this and think it would be good if we were seperated and he had more time to internalize what he is doing to his life. This was also what the DB coach said that right now we need to get him to slow down.
Things I'm concerned/need help with: -Thursdays I usually go into the office (I WFH all other days). I am scared WH is going to come while I'm gone and get all of his things. 1) I'm not even sure I will be able to physically go into the office at this point but if I am, would this be good because this would be a sign of GAL? 2) Or should I stay home and work so he is less likely to come get things so it gives him a few more days (hopefully) to think about things
-When he calls, should I answer? I actually don't really want to answer because I don't really want to answer his questions. If I don't answer and he leaves a message should I call him back?
-When I eventually do have to speak with WH and he asks me questions. I need to be prepared to answer the following: 1) WH: I want to put the house on the market right away, etc. What I think I should say: I would like to stay in the house and do not feel comfortable putting on the market 2) WH: Are you going to keep me on your health insurance and legal plan? What I think I should say: I believe in our marriage so I'm unable to keep you on the legal plan but I do care about your health and well being so I will keep you on the health insurance 3) WH: Do you want to meet with a mediator? What I think I should say: I actually don't know what to say to this at all. I don't want a mediator or a lawyer. I just want him to slow down and give it some god damn time! 4) WH: Did you meet with a lawyer? Me: I had a phone call with a lawyer to understand a few things. I did not retain a lawyer.
-I also have a difficult time with being seeming "happy" and "busy" without appeearing cold. As I said WH is very literal. Right now the goal is to get him to slow down and think about the possibility of reconciliation so I don't want to push him away. Any thoughts on this?
