I understand that you are having a difficult time. I tried to go back and read some of your previous threads, but the link was broken. However, I did read that you "changed" to become the "perfect" father and husband. And it sounds like this has been going on for about 3 months. Let me tell you, if your W is anything like mine, you have about another 15 months to go before she really believes the changes. This is not an easy road, children in their 2s test marriages; I can't imagine twins.
What I am going to say is not how to get immediate satisfaction out of your marriage. I am giving advice on how I believe to best save it. For a while, I think you should focus on receiving satisfaction from giving to your W and children and not expecting anything in return.
My W read your posts and her comment was: "There is a lot of 'What about me?' ". gws: any mother of twins in their 2s will have very little left for their Hs. You said that your W was very caring before. She is still that person, but she sees her babies need more caring than you do right now. You are a grown man that can take care of himself. This period will pass. The boys will grow up and start taking care of themselves. And, if you have been by her side as a good loving husband and father during these times, that affection will be focused back on you. Its not easy, but that is the way I see it right now.
My advice, if you want it is to simply ask "How can I help." If she says, "Don't worry. I'm OK." Ask it slightly differently: "I want to help, please let me know how best to do that." If she still refuses find something that you think will help her and do it. Repeat this again the next day. Stay polite and patient. You are right in that she is noticing the changes. And you are probably right that she doesn't believe them right now. She still thinks you are expecting something in return; are you?
Why do you think the therapist is supporting your W's decission to walk? What has she said to make you believe this? Has she suggested a possible diagnosis for your W? Has the conversation of possibly seeing a psychiatrist ever come up between the 2 of you?
