And here I am .... H's MLC ....

[PEI]

Hey guys ... nice to see you here Puppy! Totally lost track of time and had to go ... and the suspense never killed anyone right! And really, three epic posts to capture most of the 9 pages in my sitch thread aint' bad!!! Thanks Jack - I know lots don't like long posts but I figure the more info the better!

... continued ...

... on May 15th we were set to talk to the kids and had discussed what Daddy was going to say to them. We ended up spending longer at D6's school (building the new playground) than anticipated, and since I was going out with friends and wouldn't be around to help deal with any potential aftermath we decided to delay talking to them until Sunday afternoon when H returned from golfing. We then planned to take them to a park or something and spend the afternoon as a family. I'm going to copy and paste in how that played out since I typed it in my newcomers thread already:

H went golfing Sunday morning with a plan to talk to the kids when he returned. Once he got back, we ate lunch and he disappeared into our (my?) room. He was just laying on the bed looking pensive but I didn't bite, instead I went to have a shower. H was still there when I got out so I got dressed (caught him peeking!) and then sat on the edge of bed. He made small talk and then said that he'd been thinking about what to say to the kids all morning. *Note* this is where I would usually slip in some comment about not needing to tell them blah, blah, blah ... so my 180: I said nothing!* We chatted for a bit about what to say and keeping it light and casual and he looked down (Good! Means he's feeling stuff sometimes - unlike the alien I've been married to for 4 mos!) and then D6 and S4 came into the room. H says he wants to talk to them and they hop up on the bed.

H: Things are going to change a bit around here.
D6: Change how?
H: Daddy has been having a hard time lately and hasn't been taking care of himself and he needs some grown up alone time to do that. (looks at me as if he wants me to say something ... )
ME: You're doing fine...
H: So, because we both love you guys sooooo much, we're going to take turns being here at the house and taking care of you. We're going to have family time too. (both kids are nodding - really this isn't a huge departure for them, we've both come and gone a lot with extra work and social committments etc). Do you guys have questions?
S4: How come we have to take swimming lessons? (..... LMAO ... I almost fell off the bed! Was perfect really ... took away tension and gave us a family laugh!)
ME: Because we live on an Island (smiling).
S4: Oh.
H: Any other questions guys?
S4: I have a question about taking turns.
H: What is it buddy?
S4: When we take turns drawing pictures can we each do one?
... anyway ... the kids ran off and played and then I laid back on the bed and started to cry (to my credit I didn't cry while they were there - huge for me!). H laid back on one elbow beside me and then leaned in over me and gave me a bear hug - not one of those "I'm hugging you because I feel guilty hugs" but more of a "I get it, this sucks, I'm sorry you're hurting" hug. He said that he really cares about me and hates to see me hurting and wishes he could just make it stop. I got my tears under control, he asked if I was OK and I said "yeah, actually I am, and I will be ... part of me is relieved to have that over and know that they are ok, better than ok really". I then said "I'm really glad you are finally making yourself a priority and doing what you need to do. You are a great daddy." He said "I hope so" and I said, "I know so. And taking care of you is the best way to keep being a great daddy." He was still on one elbow beside me and hugged me again, then backed off a little bit, looked me in the eye, and kissed me. Tentatively, then backed off and looked me in the eye again and kissed me again. I kissed him back, but also tentatively - following his lead - and didn't let myself cling to it or push for more. I took what he offered. After a couple of minutes he pushed up on his elbows over me and whispered "I still don't know where this is going to go" to which I replied "I know. Me neither.". Then another bear hug. A few minutes later he says "were you surprised I kissed you?" and I said "kinda, but I'm learning to live in the moment and sometimes you have to do what feels right without looking too far ahead or back" ... then I changed the subject and didn't dwell on it (*another 180 for me!).

We took the kids to a park, then to McD's for supper, a quick stop at my parents for a 'big boy' bed for S2 and then home to do the usual Sunday night routine ... baths, snacks and bedtime. H and I had discussed watching a movie and rubbing out some of our sore back and shoulder muscles so we started with the massages and then realized it was getting late. He said he didn't know if he was going to stay up for a movie and I said I was going to head to bed, that I wanted to get an early start on the morning (*another 180 - I would usually use it as an excuse to spend more time with him etc). I said a cheery 'good night' and tucked myself in with HGTV as I heard him head to the basement. A couple of minutes later my cell chirped to indicate a text message so I grabbed my phone and it was H! 'Good night' it said (so backwards - a couple of weeks ago that would have been me sending him messages to try to maintain contact!) ... I texted back 'yes it was ... sweet dreams'. That started an exchange back and forth for 20 or so minutes which started to be full of sexual inuendo so I played along a bit, then said we should get some sleep and signed off with another 'good night'. I wanted to go down there, knew he would welcome it if I initiated but decided to stand my ground instead. Smiled myself to sleep

This morning he came in to wake me (I'd slept through my alarm) and he sat on the edge of the bed. We chatted and then he said that he half expected a visit last night to which I replied "Yeah, I know. But I don't want to be a part of anything that makes you feel bad ... and those stairs run both ways you know". He wants to make decisions by golly he's going to have to make them!

... May 17 was my first night away and it was rough. I should have had something planned to do but I didn't and I spent too much time being angry about not being able to go home. Tuesday was better as I had plans and then Wed was my first night alone with them, but since it was S5's b'day H came home for supper with us. I was with them on Thurs night and spent Fri night at my Moms. Saturday I got groceries for the family b'day party on Sunday and landed at the house around 2pm to drop them off before we went to his b'day party with daycare friends (H had been sending short texts or making quick calls all week - I had been really careful to not make initial contact - and during one conversation invited me to travel to the b'day party together). Saturday was great (H left after the party), and he called from the golf course on Sunday to say it was a slow round and he'd be along to help get ready for the party as soon as he could (out of character). He seemed really uncomfortable at the party (expected that though as all my extended family was there too) and although I was looking forward to watching LOST together, his grouching and complaining about his stomach started to get on my nerves (turns out he spent Sat night at a friends place having a few drinks - then I find out that this friend and her boyfriend are amicably parting ways due to school and job geographic realities - and all I can think of is 'doesn't he have any friends, especially female friends, in stable relationships!!!'). I decided to not let his mood ruin mine and I enjoyed the finale anyway.

... May 24 (yesterday) was a holiday and H golfed in the am (MY idea a couple of weeks ago - total 180 there - two rounds in one weekend!) and once he got home we set up the kids slippy slider in the front yard for them to play on. We were watching them when H says to me 'dare you!' and - another total 180 - I go for it, fully dressed! Laughed our butts off, H ended up doing it too, and I even went a couple of times. We left the kids to play and went in to get dried off, and well, you can guess where we ended up after peeling off soaking wet clothes ... a person can only handle so much you know! Afterwards he seemed like he was going to say something all relationship-y (I know that's not a word) so I kept it light, cracked a joke and got up and went to check on the kids. He did make some comment about 'good for PEI' for letting loose and having fun. Later in the afternoon, he said something like 'I had no intention of doing that' to which I said 'me neither, no worries, we lived in the moment' or something like that. Around supper time I went to town and then to my mom's for the night. This evening as I was leaving my day-job I realized I didn't have any shoes to wear to my business meeting so I called H to let him know I was going to drop by to pick up a pair and he invited me to come right then and stay for supper and see the kids, so I said I couldn't stay long as I had plans but I appreciated the offer and would love a quick visit. So I did.

Ok ... there it is ... in all it's long-winded glory