Divorce in 1 month Help with exposing please need

[sandi2]

Don't plead the case with OM. You don't want him telling you how this all happened. You don't tell him that you are about to expose him to his family b/c then he has time to get his side of the story to them first.

Allen may disagree, but I think you just need to leave OM alone. Your problem is with your W and she is the one you need to be dealing with. I think when you were told OM was afraid of you, it went to your head and you wanted to throw your weight around a bit.

[twolf]

SANDI or ALLEN....And one more thing ive rembered before she left she started talking about diffrent people that we knew and that they were having affairs.
OR some couples that we knew that were getting divorces the reason they were ending because so in so cheated.

I all most wonder if she was telling me this so she could of got caught or just testing the waters to see if i knew anything???

[twolf]

That is probley true Sandi.

[Allen A]

TWolf, you know this guy... Do you honeslty think he's going to STOP doing what he's doing because you call him and leave a message on your phone saying "you would appreicate it" if he stopped having sex with your wife?

Look. This guy would NOT do the things he's doing if you were THERE.. he's a coward, all OM and liars in general are cowards or they wouldn't SNEAK AROUND and LIE.

I dunno. I think there ARE ways to pressure OM to GET LOST... particularly if you have a few "yes men" such as your Brother in Law standing behind you...

BUT... It has to be done WELL... IT MAY SCARE him, it may NOT... its just hard to pull off.. I have seen it done...

I think SHAME is a much more powerful weapon than intimidating him physically... BUT, there's no harm in being forceful if you DO run into him...

Do NOT say "I would appreciate" and crap like that if he's afraid of you... it just makes you sound timid. If you think you CAN scare him away come up with somthing to SAY that WILL


This is my wife and children you are manipulating you little punk. This better end -- NOW -- Or you are gonna regret it... You know how many people in town offered to take a hit at you? You honeslty think ANY MAN in this TOWN is gonna TRUST you right now?

Watch your back... As long as you live in this town watch your back... It wont' be me comin after ya... But it dont' have to be... I told everyone they can do whatever they want, I won't care if they set you on FIRE... I may piss on you to put the fire out, but that's the best you're gonna get from me.

Watch your back... ALWAYS watch your back... You WILL LEARN to be a MAN... Either way... By getting the HELL away from my WIFE and FAMILY by choice, or by someone in town putting you in the ground... You choose smart guy...


I am not suggesting you use the above, but if he IS afraid of you and you want to INTIMIDATE... the above is how to do that... Don't call him on the phone and leave a message, you corner him with two of your buddies on teh street at night and have a ONE-SIDED CHAT.. you talk, he LISTENS.. then you walk away...

THAT is how you intimidate... you dont' call and leave him messages on his phone, that's as cowardly as he is...

[Allen A]

Note : I am NOT suggesting you DO this... I am just showing you HOW you WOULD if you WERE to take that route...

It can work if done well i think, but I honelsty don't know if you can pull it off...

Do NOT call him and leave messages on his phone

1. It's NOT intimidating as you and a few of your buddies cornering him on the street to "chat"
2. Phone call messages are recorded and can be taken into a courtroom... an in person visit on the street can be DENIED

Don't leave a trail of anything that they may use against you.

Personal visits have MUCh more IMPACT than a text message or a phone message.

I KNOW you are nervous. This is why I don't think you can pull this off... You can't intimidate if you are nervous... so don't bother unless you can do it right.

Text messages just look timid... TALK FACE to FACE if you ARE gonna do this.. and take some buddies with you..

[sandi2]

And one more thing ive rembered before she left she started talking about diffrent people that we knew and that they were having affairs.
OR some couples that we knew that were getting divorces the reason they were ending because so in so cheated.

I all most wonder if she was telling me this so she could of got caught or just testing the waters to see if i knew anything???

I believe some people try to convince themselves & others that what they've done (or want to do) is acceptable. Some try to justify it. She sounds as if she is verbalizing some reasons you should buy into thinking A's and D is fine since "everyone else" is doing it too. It's the same way teenagers think, right?

[twolf]

Ok going to take MIL and her mother out to lunch when i pick up son2 on thursday.

Here is what i want to tell them.
Mom you allready know that me and Wife are about ready to divorce i want you to know the real reason wy.

I fell to protect my family like i promosed to you when i asked you for your daughters hand in marrige.This man was a family freind so we thought. He is destroying our family. He took an advantage of my wife and your daughter and or sons mother.when mellisa died he would call my wife four times a day. My wife has lied to you about many things she did get involved with this man before we seperated like she would have you to belive.

Another thing that bothers me she told me i was to controling when i confronted them.she said they have been freinds for years and i was over reacting and i told her thats how affairs start and she said i was crazy look what happened now.



TRYING to thinks of things to incorparate in this to get her on my side I know that she is letting other man hang around and said wife made a mistake in marrying me so if some one could help turn her black heart around,i would be greatfull.

MIL and MIL MOM both divorced their first hubands and re married them after affairs on their husbands both had children the same age as my son. and i dont belive in the family script bs TWOLF

[MrBond]

Boy does that sound familiar. I told my MIL the same thing and she told me I had to let my W go and let her be happy. Hello? Happy with her married boss that's her mom's age?

Just don't be surprised if you get a response like that. That's why I suggest being prepared for anything.

Your IL's could very well side with your W and make you the bad guy. Just be cautious.

[twolf]

My MIL has the maturaty level of a 16 year old girl

[MrBond]

So what's the point of talking to them?

It's up to you, but it sounds like she's not going to help your cause. You need responsible adults on your side.