Please see that what your H is doing has nothing to do with you. When you get a chance go back and read through your thread. Your H has been all over the place. He's suggested things that make no sense whatsoever. His brain is so jumbled it's short circuiting and he can't even stay on one train of thought through to completion before he's off and running again.
Does your H always seem to be in a hurry even though you know he has no place he has to be? My H can't sit still and is in constant motion. He just seem to be totally uncomfortable in his own skin. I believe he is like that because he's trying to outrun his pain, unhappiness and guilt.
As Snodderly said, the best thing you can do for your H and yourself is to let him go. God will take care of him in His time.
You're a smart, courageous lady. Look at the life you have built for you and your kids! Protect yourself financially and you will be just fine while your H is away on his journey. Take this time and make the most of it while you figure out what you want.
SCH (((((hugs)))))) I'm so sorry, I know that I can't help you now, but I just want you to know that I care and hope that you'll find happiness beacause you are a wonderful person and you deserve it. Be it with your H in the future or on a whole new journey.
Remember that the dark days come and go, after you absorb this new development you will be able to look at it in a new light. Also as slow as MLC is some things do change very fast.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Yes, he wants this, he's wanted this for some time now but only slowly and painfully driven us to it. So now he gets what he wants, his freedom from me.
It hurts like all heck. I can't make the pain stop. It just seems so unecessary to me, we had a great life, and wonderful kids, and I really loved him so much. Everything he goes to do now are things I love doing, and always wanted to do with him, but he makes it out like I held him back from that (except maybe OW things!). It's so wrong.
I know that in time this should fade, and that if/when I become who I will be next that I will be OK, but that means HE WILL BE OK TOO. And I don't want that. It's like he knows he will heal from ME, given time, and go on to another life. But why does he have to????
Tonight WH came by dressed in very nice clothes, and was trying to kiss me. If I wasn't already in such an insane sitch, I'd think he was trying to drive me crazy!
Second, Your h is just plain nuts, i.e., bouncing all over the place. Yet, I have another thought...distancer/pursuer game. One time they are very nice and attentive and the next angry and moving forward w/the papers. Don't get reeled in on his fishing line. Continue doing what you've been doing all along...loving him unconditionally, but from afar.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sch...my H kissed me one week and served me D papers 2 weeks laster. Not saying that your H will do that but that they are definitely crazy!!! I am going to read up on the distancer/pursuer thing.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Well, I guess I've started actively GALing, and the last few events/friends I've gone out with I've made an exceptional effort to be nice and friendly and outgoing and fun (as opposed to complaining about my sitch, feeling down, etc). And it feels good. Like a warm shower, washing away the bad memories and the hurt.
