The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

I wondered. A while ago I figured it'd be this big emotional meltdown ... now I don't know. I still dread opening the mailbox every day, thinking there'll be a new development.

Nothing today except that STBXW is not returning my emails. It's like a game in a way. I only want to communicate by email. She doesn't want to. She wants to talk on the phone. So it seems as if we are trying to hold out until something big enough happens that we have to give in.

Or I'm overanalyzing things.

[kat727]

She wants to stay in control. Best thing is to let go of the rope and let her fall on her rear. No more playing her games. Only contact her if it involves the kids or has to do with taxes!

I used to dread weekends because it meant I was closer to being divorced. Now I live for them again. It will all settle down soon enough.

kat

[v1olin]

I agree with Kat! Let it all GO. Always feeling anxious will kill you. I know it was killing me. I felt so much better after things had been solidified and normalized.

[ClingingToHope]

Went to an interview at church. I applied to be a table leader at the next marriage rebuilders workshop in the fall. They ran through a list of questions and it got me talking about my situation. By the end the three of us were praying for God to somehow restore our marriage.

Weird.

How it got to that point was God won't help unless I ask and I said I've been waiting for a sign, any sign that STBXW was rethinking things or hesitating and I have not seen it.

[MrBond]

I heard that you have to ask for something specific. Like...my spouse will call me this week. Asking for a sign is pretty vague.

[ClingingToHope]

I told the two interviewing me that I've been praying for strength to handle whatever comes next and they suggested specifically praying for God to restore our marriage.

Now, I'm not making up what happened next. You could take it one of two ways.

As we were praying, my phone notified me I'd gotten a text.

After the interview I looked at my phone. The text was from STBXW. It said "where are you"

I replied "I had an appointment."

There was no response so I'm almost positive it was either D11 or D7 getting ahold of STBXW's phone and sending me a jokey text.

If it was STBXW it would have been more specific.

Still. Considering what was going on it was strange/funny ... or for the very hopeful out there ... a sign.

I left church laughing.

[ClingingToHope]

Fun morning. Last night at 10:30 p.m. STBXW sends me a text asking if I can take D11 to school today. I'd emailed her Sunday saying that I specifically could not take her on Wednesday. So I text back, no. I can't. I sent an email on this.

She sent back an angry text at 11 p.m. that I didn't see because I'd turned my phone off. She's upset because a month or so ago she gave me her three-month schedule of early mornings and late nights.

I texted back this morning that she should have read her emails.

A couple more angry responses from her and she demanded I call. So I do and she starts yelling at me. So I told her when she calms down call me back.

Instead, I get an angry text.

All this is going on while there's still no resolution on D11. She can't ride the bus because there's a thug on it that threatened her a couple of weeks ago. So I send a text saying I will be late to my meeting. Is D11 ready and I drive over.

No response to the text so I go to the door. D7 is about to answer when STBXW marches to the door and says "I was sending you a freaking text that I got it covered."

So I turn around and leave. I caught a glimpse of D11 in the living room. She looked really upset.

I get to work and I FINALLY have responses to the three emails I sent her this week. I haven't read them yet. I'm going to wait until after lunch.

Whenever something threatens her precious career she flies off the handle. The best revenge is a life well lived. I will not yell at her or call her names in front of the girls. They looked so sad this morning. It's times like these STBXW reminds me of her mother -- who gets angry when she's inconvenienced. Everyone is out to get her.

[ClingingToHope]

Picked up girls from school. D11 had a terrible day -- starting with the morning tension. We went swimming for an hour and D11 and D7 were just picking at each other the whole time.

So when the afterschool sitter showed up at the apartment I dropped D11 there and brought D7 back to work to give them a break from each other.

I responded to each of STBXW's emails and for the most part didn't take the bait. I did ask her to stop calling me names in front of the girls in one. I'm not sure how that'll go over.

One of the emails STBXW said she couldn't send me a summer camp list because she's working on the house tonight. That made me smile. That house is going to bury her and today I don't feel sorry for her. Consequences.

[SpyBunny]

I responded to each of STBXW's emails and for the most part didn't take the bait. I did ask her to stop calling me names in front of the girls in one. I'm not sure how that'll go over.

Hi CTH-

Shouldn't that be "tell her to stop calling me names in front of the girls"? To me it sounds like something that should be a clear boundary- no discussions unless she can talk in a respectful, civil manner.

Hugs, Bunny

[mishka422]

She actually calls you names? And in front of your children? That is completely unacceptable and childish behavior. If she does it again might I suggest, "W, when you grow up and learn to talk like a rational adult I am willing to have a conversation with you. Until then, go to your room and think about what you have done."

Sorry, making light of the situation, but that is just plain crazy!