I know i shouldnt be writing a new post here, but nobody is really responding to the rantings of my other posts... Here's my story in a nutshell.
My husband asked for a separation about a month ago, he has not moved out of the house. But we do not sleep together anymore and we are both so busy we rarely see eachother anyways. When we do see eachother we keep things very cordial, especially in the presence of our daughter. He started counseling for compulsive lying and explained that I need to focus on myself right now and after his counseling is over he will know if he can be with me.
He basically said "Don't get your hopes up."
Should I make him dinner and leave it in the fridge? Should i be nice and do his laundry or is this being too pushy. I have not been doing these things, but last night my daughter said "we had tacos, but they are all gone, I wanted to call you but mommy wouldn't let me." Which is true, I just said, no daddy is busy right now. I think this sort of hurt him because he came into the room and asked why I didn't let her call him. I just said "Because I didnt want to push you into coming home for dinner in case you had plans. I didnt want to be pushy. But next time I will call you." He said ok.
I dont know if I should make him dinner?? Do his laundry? The only time he comes home at a decent hour is when he has to do his laundry, he usually doesn't come home until 9:30 10:00 everynight and sometimes later.
This is my biggest problem with him, he doesnt spend enough time with us his family. Everyone around him is more important and it drives me nuts. We only get him on a few special holidays.
Me30 H38 D6 Married for 7 years Relationship before marriage 3 years Husband is sending me on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
I haven't read your other posts....is this something you used to do for him? Laundry, etc....did you divide up the family/household duties before?
Just curious trying to see if this is doing something different or doing what you have always done...generally speaking if he isn't home at dinner, that is his choice. Of course if you have leftovers in the fridge, so be it. If you don't, you don't...
Making enough dinner for another person if you are cooking anyway, if really no trouble. So I would say, "yes, make the dinner, if you are cooking anyway.". The laundry is different. He comes home early to do the laundry. That is a good thing. Don't do the laundry.
There sure ain't nothing like sorting a skid marked pair of underpants after they called you a mother eff'er and started a fight over nothing just out get out of the house...
For the record, I have washed my dirty clothing since I have been 12 years old. My mom told me it builds character. She also told me an american single with mustard on wonder bread taste just like a McDonald's cheeseburger; and she was right.
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This is my biggest problem with him, he doesnt spend enough time with us his family.
I tell ya' how to get him spendin' his nights folding towels at the dinning room table, but you probably would believe me...
Steve, there's not much I wouldn't believe right now.
Ang, I've had a similar sitch with H not choosing to spend time with us. I got him to be here more at first by getting him to come home earlier because I made plans and needed him to be here after work to be with the children. I told him not to assume I had nothing to do. I say whatever works. If there's leftovers in the fridge and he's out of clean socks so he comes straight home, GREAT!
