Embrace the Sass

[smith18]

And get better Bobbi Jo. The greater Omaha area men need you healthy and back into the dating scene!

I so wish I could see the look on Dan's face when he discovers you have found a good man like SandyCay's FFG. When that time comes, you wont give a sh!t about Dan anymore.

[BobbiJo]

Yeah he will be shocked I'm sure!

I said something that night I went over to his house to go over 'the plan' for telling the kids...can't remember the specifics but he said something about not being alone forever. Which, in itself, is funny as he was stringing along TWO of us as of last September and I have no clue who he has 'dated' since then...

Anyway I said something about how I would find someone too but it would be weird to see another man playing ball with Nathan, going to his games, etc. And I didn't like the thought of another woman parenting my kids...

He got all pissy and said, "I don't NEED someone to help me parent" meaning he wanted a companion not a nanny, I assume. I told him it didn't work that 'clean', whoever is in my life will also be in my kids' life ultimately. He didn't like that.

So just got home from doctor. Went over lunch break and he told me to go home until Thursday, I have bronchitis verging on pneumonia... BLAH! Sick of being sick...

[cw68]

Take care of yourself!

Why do you pay all the child care and medical costs? This is something that my ex and I pay pro-rata of income.

[Kalni]

Sounds like the "nusty flu". Watch out because pneumonia was the dangerous part of it all.
xxx
K

[BobbiJo]

Been alseep for 90 minutes on/off, on the couch. Mom called to ask when Nathan's music program started tonight, I told her. She could tell I was struggling to talk/breathe, so I told her I was home and sleeping. She told me I shouldn't be going to Nathan's ball game, program, etc. I told him I am the mom, these things are not optional...so she insisted on picking him up from school and taking him for his allergy shot. That was great so I could sleep an extra 45 minutes!

Now I am awake and I will get his clothes ready for the program and charge the video camera.

CW-We didn't stipulate anything about child care in the decree I have just always paid it all, don't know why...I suppose cause I figured 'child support' was to be spent for them...he is SUPPOSED to pay the first $250 medical for both kids, and then 50/50 the rest of the year. But I have never asked him to pay me or sent him receipts. I will if I have to at this point I can afford it, I can prob put it on my taxes, and I guess I kind of feel like I have something on him. That isn't the right word but I am still tired, will think what I meant later...

[kat727]

Your L was okay with that??!! Sorry that sounds like you gave a lot away to Dan right there. Child support covers their home, their food, their clothes. All those things that growing kids need. If Dan is just paying medical,(and just part of it) that isn't even scraping the surface.

You will get taxed on your support since it will then be considered maintanence and he will get to write it off. I know you are sick. I'll leave you alone for now.

[BobbiJo]

Kat,

I get two separate checks each month. Child support and alimony. The child support will not be taxed, but the alimony will. I use his child support checks to pay for food, clothes, shoes, school expenses, whatever for the kids. Honestly I don't differentiate in my checkbook what money I spend is "child support" and what money isn't. I just deposit everything, his child support, alimony, and my paychecks, and I pay my bills. He was grousing before the decree was finalized about how much money I get each month and he didn't know where it all went...I sent a rather frosty reply pointing out that I paid all medical bills, prescriptions (when you have a kid with asthma who takes 4 meds/day it adds up!), day care, etc etc. He backed off instantly...

[kat727]

Okay, I miss read that..child care vs child support. Yes I get it sorry!

Get feeling better and maybe I do need glasses for up close stuff!!

kat

[cw68]

I know you are sick, so don't reply right now, but child support isn't supposed to cover that stuff. It's to cover housing, clothing and feeding them. E erything else is additional and should be split.

You wouldn't expect to pay their college tuition just because you got child support, right?

My ex pays the insurance so that is factored into support and all co-pays, prescriptions and the like are pro-rata split. Same with child care costs. All school and sports we pay 50/50 because that's not supposed to be covered by child support. I seriously suggest you talk to your attorney. You've got a lot of years of this and a lot of medical expenses. These are his kids too and it's not just your financial responsibility. Don't unduly burden yourself. That's not fair to your retirement, your financial stability or to your kids. Your economic health affects them too.

[cw68]

PS-let him grouse. I say "tough titties!" that is part of the reality of divorce. Man up Dan.