Any man who would leave his wife alone at an appointment where she might be finding out she has cancer...well...this is no kind of man.
There are NO excuses for him. If anyone tells you there are, they are wrong.
Marriage is not to be a ball and chain. It is not to be an albatross around your neck that drags you to the bottom of the deepest ocean.
You do not have to divorce to be apart from this man and reclaim your life. Fact is, putting the focus on "divorce" or "not divorce" should not really be the point right now.
You need to LIVE.
You need to get out from under the oppression.
Your husband is a three time loser. And I agree that him signing away the rights to a child is a CLEAR sign of his character and nature.
I do believe that people can change. But this man would almost have to re-invent himself just to be classified human.
Get away. Get far away. And tell him why. We should take our steps with confidence and integrity. Don't run without a word. Tell him why. Let him know the many pains he has brought, the way he has emptied your soul and sucked the life out of you. Tell him that you cannot live like you are dead any longer.
You've been alone for 16 years. You may find that by leaving you will become LESS lonely.
Blessings,
Bill
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712