I can't see this at work but I think you have posted this one before! Don't worry Kerry about the 6 seconds, I think some of girls are at about 10-15 seconds!! I am not joking!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hopefully, my nearly 10 month "priest-like" sabatical could be coming to an end in a couple days or a week and a half. My mind is leaning to the former.
Very interesting that he was hurt by your assumption that you were a BC. Good that you gave him time to calm down (BTW, I would translate his not wanting to go to the store to I need time by myself rather than him wanting nothing to do with you, a subtle but important distinction). Also good that you guys talked more!
Life is a risk. Crossing the street. Everything. Enjoy it.
(((Mishka)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Me, I think Gabe may be frightened that, just like before, no matter what he does Mish perceives him as treating her like sh*t because that's what she feels she deserves, for reasons that have nothing to do with him.
That is, Gabe is powerless not to be the bad guy and the supposed source of Mish's bad feelings about herself, no matter what he does.
Losing position you ask me, an I'd be hard-pressed to see why he wasn't worried about the same thing.
So, Mish, quit externalizing. If you want a chance at reconciliation, you have GOT to be responsible for your own happiness and QUIT heaping your very own insecurity on other people.
So are you saying that having fear and finding ways past those fears is not acceptable? I shouldn't tell him how I am feeling when he asks but suck it up like I always have and allow it to consume me?
I didn't blame him for my feelings. I didn't tell him he WAS doing what the dark side of my mind thought he was doing. I was very specific with him that this was about my own insecurities. He can choose to understand that or play the victim himself.
No, there is no way to completely forget what has happened in the past, nor should I. That doesn't mean I'm holding any of it over his head. His past actions do not dictate the future and I don't consider him to be a bad guy, only a bad decision maker. I don't perceive him treating me like sh*t. I actually see him treating me better than he ever did. Honestly, that scares me too. Is it for real? I like to think it is, but I have learned not to trust blindly anymore. Trust is earned and built over time and that has not happened yet but we are working on it.
Being responsible for my own happiness also requires me to speak up when something hurts me. It requires that I be deliberate in my speech and actions and not expect Gabe to 'just know'.
Reconciliation is a LONG way off. If it comes to that, wonderful! If not, then I will have learned a lot more about myself and how to go forward in confidence that I will be ok.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
