OK - one thing is for certain...you do not tell the children any of this adult business. You don't score that way. You do what a parent does and that is to protect children. This is not info they need. That's one thing.
The other thing is to protect yourself right now. Bank accts - get them in order. Get your money, any auto deposits from your job into another acct in your name only.
Do not talk with her about this right now until you can get your thoughts together and your emotions in as much check as you can possibly must at a horrible moment like this.
MI to W: "Right now, there is only one thing I'm willing to talk about and that is when you will be coming to pick up your things. You have a week to make your arrangements to move out of the family home. If you can't manage it in a week, I'll pack it up and store it in the garage for you."
MI, you will not live in an open marriage. This is a non-negotiable boundary. Does that mean you won't reconcile with her? No. It just means that while she is spending the night with another man, she will not be living with you. Period. If she wants to move home, she will have to have to completely drop OM, be completely transparent about that and get counseling with you. If she is not willing to do that, then she doesn't want to be married to MI.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
In less than a week she went from my wife to a person I don't know.She acts like she can just decide that she wants out of this marrage and since she has decided that she can do what ever she wants.She has gotten us into soo much dept that it will take a long time to recover.I think she is using OM as a way to get out.He has his own business and is pretty comfortable.Its like she hit a switch and now she is with some one else. Anyone know a way to kick her out of the house?Lawyer says there is nothing I can do.I wanted to take her belongings and set them in the garage and tell her to leave but legally I can't.Anyone in this situation before?She leaves when ever she wants to and comes home late at night.Sometimes drunk.In the last 6 nights she has left and not come anywhere from 12:00am to 4:00am.She is with OM when she does this.I do not want a open marrage.HOW DO I STOP THIS.Please help me.
If she is coming home drunk and upsetting the household...there may be a way to get her out that way. That's how I got mine out. Well...he left willingly too but I had papers drawn up that he cannot come back into the marital home.
Focus on her partying and alcohol use as not good for the kids. It is causing them stress that mom is not coming home at night.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10