My Story

[Wired]

Well its been awhile since I have posted,wish I could be bringing signs of hope to anyone who has been following this thread, but unfortunately I cannot.
Was away on a business trip for 6 weeks that gave me way to much alone time. So I re-read DR and spent alot of time walking around downtown San Antonio just to think.

For the most part that was good, but when the sun would go down and I would be in my room the depression of being alone would sink in and I would slip back into the "woe is me" phase. But I did come to more of an re-affirmation of my goals in life and how I am not a lousy person and this period in my life will make me a better person regardless the outcome. (Have proof positive of this on the bathroom scale, I have lost 20lbs and Im short of my goal by only 8 more!)

Now comes the bad news. While I was away I emailed the wife telling her my feelings about us and how I would like to work things out for us to continue on into our golden years together...I know, I know big mistake.
Well fast forward to me walking in the door after being gone for 6 weeks. The wife looks at me and asks how was my flight and even before I can finish speaking she walks away into the other room. Neither of my daughters even bothered to come downstairs to say hello. Thank god when my son got in from work he gave me a hug and said welcome back. I dont think I could have handled the complete ummmmm I dont know what. But Im thankful he did.

The next day I asked my wife to take a drive with me so we could talk. During this talk she informs me nothing has changed in her decisions. She will be calling her lawyer in the morning. She did say she has noticed the changes I have been making and is grateful for them. But I dont know what to believe from her anymore.

I look at it this way, at least we are not in limbo anymore and if we do divorce at least we have a direction. Will continue with my "strategy" of taking care of myself and becoming a better person. Just maybe one day she will see this and we can start over again.