Right now I don't want to talk to him at all. I called to read S6's school assessment to him, in which the teacher wrote that S6 had some of the highest scores that she has ever seen ( ) and to tell him that he has the lead in the little skit they are doing at tomorrow's graduation. I just found out last night and I would be mad if he had known & not told me.
He says someone will have to tape it for him because he has *something going on*. He then launched into a diatribe about how he has to coach the Tball team now because the coach got sick & doesn't want to do it, and how he doesn't have any money for gas because he doesn't have a job (my fault), and how it isn't his fault that he isn't the coach because of the circumstances (also my fault) . I wanted to remind him that he had been the coach but quit at the last minute, that there were a bunch of kids who didn't want to be in the middle of it who just needed SOMEONE to step up, and to get over it already & find a damn job. But I didn't. Instead, he heard...
"I can understand how that would be frustrating."
I also didn't tell him he got a bunch of mail from the college the past week. If he's looking into going back, then he knows it's coming & will arrange to get it--if it's that important to him. If he's not going back, then it's not that important & he will get it when he thinks to pick up his stuff. Right?
S6 talked to him when I was done, he chatted for a bit & then said, "Please come to my graduation?". No prompting from me. It made me tear up.
He said, "Daddy said, 'Maybe' & then he had to go. He might come mom!"
That poor kid. And just like *that* I go back to hating him for what he's doing to them.
I really hate this rollercoaster.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
posting a link to another forum...espically THAT forum would have done it.
JacT...stop doing that here.
I basically said pretend you are your husband, and I'll be you.
Your motivation is to get away from me up to and including chewing your own arm off.
Ok, you in character?
Me:
"Dear, I want you to know that I am going to stand for us no matter what you say orthink because we said we would be together forever and ever and ever awhile back and right now I know that you are crazy and this is just crazy talk. I know what is right and I know deep down what you really want. So...for that I am going to stand for our marriage."
Ok your turn to respond as him.
I KNOW you are not going to say THAT...but I am willing to bet that is what he is going to hear.
which is basically:
"It doesn't matter what you say you want, I am going to do what I want."
So to sum up your question...No; do not say anything to him about Standing. Just do it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
My answer, as him, would have had a few expletives in them. Starting with an *F* and ending a *U*.
Yeahhhh...so not the right answer. Good point. Actions it is.
BTW--post-deleting mod, who was well within their rights to delete anything they'd like, and please accept my apologies for even mentioning any other...you know. Anyway--the facebook name I mentioned is as fake as my screen name here. I created it with this screen name so I could join DB on Facebook. "Shelbel Elliery" Elliery because as I was registering and looking for a last name, S2 was yelling for a piece of celery & that's the way it came out "...elliery!!!!"
So fake.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
Shelbel, sorry you lost posts. I wanted to say that I did tell my H I was standing, but not a whole, long, drawn out conversation. I said something like "I don't believe in D and will not D you." That's all and I have to say that I believe he's using that knowledge to "use me as a backup" but I don't really care because although that may be what he's thinking now while he's an alien, well (how's this for a run on sentence?) I really don't like, respect, or want this alien, I want my H. When H is brought back by the mother ship, I am willing to bet he'd never use me as backup, and at that point, I get what I wanted anyway.
