Okay, I agree with that.

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So sandi2, was a former WAW. How would a LBH go about regaining his WAW, in that she has a high interest level, high respect, high passion - all that stuff that probably initially brought them together. All of this and also losing the desire to have affairs, because they really don't want to lose LBH?


Hey, I am all of those things you've just described in that WAW... grin Seriously, if a woman has those qualities, it is even tougher for both people, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

That's kind of like asking me how to go about getting someone to fall in-love with you. Except I believe the second time around is much harder. As I harp all the time, the number one most important thing is that she respect you. Don't worry about sexual attraction or anything else until she truly respects her man. A lot of the other things will fall into place once the respect has been restored. Along with respect will come admiration for her H. Of course the more damage that's been done........well, you know the answer to that.

I believe the sexual attraction is vital! If it doesn't return in a couple of years, then therapy or a medical doctor is needed. It returns faster for some, but when there is depression or lack of sex hormones....then there can be real problems in the R.

I guess I am very weird compared to most, but I never really thought of my H like so many people refer to their S "as their best friend". I never thought of him that way before we were engaged or even now. I thought of him in terms of my lover/husband......but as a friend, he stinks! I had to find friendship elsewhere. He didn't have friends he ran around with before or after we M. Maybe he didn't make a good friend with others, either. He has become a little better since my EA. That really shook him to the core.

It does take so much more time than LBH's realize when they first arrive here on the board. I have been asked how long it took me, but I don't tell, usually, b/c I know it will be so discouraging.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!