Welcome back, Little Miss--glad to see you've been progressing in all sorts of ways! I'm sure all this exploration and self-discovery will reward you with a wonderful relationship, in the end.
First off, you're far from alone in finding a more submissive role to be a sexual turn-on. Did you read the thread DQ started about alpha males--I believe most of the women who weighed in preferred this dynamic.
I too am curious about why your current partner has chosen to leave the choice of sexual frequency completely in your hands--this suggests he's been burned somehow in the past, and is still reacting to past dynamics?
I think you know that the most important aspect of any relationship, if any growth is to happen, is for there to be open communication. Assumptions, as your "downward spiral" story illustrated, only lead to miscommunication and frustration. As you say, that episode ended when you were in a particularly good mood (which is really on the same continuum as feeling detached from a situation)--how can you continue to foster this sense of detachment? Also, do you feel that he responds well to clear communication?
