"I told her how this was a THE problem in our relationship that she has expectation of me but I don't know about them. Beyond asking for what she needs what else can I do? especially if she says no. To me that means no...apparently to her it meant yes"
SR, I know that world well! Once we went shopping for beds and my wife had a bad back. We found a bed, which was more expensive than we'd intended but apparently it would be better for her back. I told her that it would be fine to purchase that bed if it was going to help her back. She said "No, it's too expensive" and I said "if it will help then let's buy it" and she said "no" So we didn't buy it. Years later she threw this at me saying "You should have known that I really did want that bed" Umm OK, even though you say NO I'm supposed to spend our money without your OK because I'm supposed to know that you really want to spend it.
