Does leaving them alone really work because I just do not see that, in my case it seems to reinforce him leaving.
Hi HM, I am so pleased that you picked up DR!! I think it will be an excellent playbook for you and will give you hope in the dark times.
I can completely understand why giving your H space seems like it will reinforce him leaving. Backing away when the one we love so dearly is utterly counter-intuitive. However, it does increase your odds of restoring the relationship.
Let me quote one section for you. I have found this to be true time and time again with my own clients:
"One of the things that happens when you chase your spouse is that you take the focus off your failing marriage and crumbling family and put the spotlight right on you. Your spouse gets so annoyed at your that getting rid of you is the only thing he thinks about. Your persistence is robbing your spouse of the opportunity to reflect on what is really happening in your lives right now. Because anger is the only emotion your spouse is feeling, it prevents him from having feelings of sadness, grief, guilt, remorse or other emotions that help your cause."
I encourage you to keep reading, keep trying the principles, and keep your chin up!
