The only way I can think of that helps is to treat your wife as a female acquaintance, not your wife. You wouldn't be affectionate, but you would be polite, charming, and friendly.
You have mentioned this before and that's what I try to keep in mind when she is like she usually is. If someone I don't know well is treating me like she is, I wouldn't go out of my way to do anything. I am friendly, always doing things with the kids. I let her be how she wants. The difference now is I don't let her bring me down. At least I don't let her see it. There are times when she says something and I smile and say okay, walk in the other room and just scream inside my head. I don't mope around the house like I used to. I am becoming me again.
