Don't plead the case with OM. You don't want him telling you how this all happened. You don't tell him that you are about to expose him to his family b/c then he has time to get his side of the story to them first.

Allen may disagree, but I think you just need to leave OM alone. Your problem is with your W and she is the one you need to be dealing with. I think when you were told OM was afraid of you, it went to your head and you wanted to throw your weight around a bit.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!