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Don't worry about pissing her off. Worry about Doing the Right Thing.

Be civil, but stand strong. APPEASEMENT WON'T WORK in these situations. IT NEVER DOES.

Don't go LOOKING for trouble, but PROTECT YOUR INTERESTS.

Puppy

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Well it all depends on what she does on Friday.I know she is going to do something.We were supposed to go on vacation next week with all of our friends.I am not going but she still wants to go and take the kids with her.OM is going to be there.That is why I am not going.My oldest does not want to go. The youngest told me that he does not want to go when all this happened but now they are talking him into it.All of his friends are going.The only choice I have is to file for divorce before they go and take out a restraining order for her not to go with this man.I think that would make my son hate me.I don't think it would be a good thing for him to go because all they do is drink. I don't think he will have much supervision.I don't know what to do.We have been saving for 6 months and it is all in her credit union account. I have been paying the bills for the last 6 months out of my check and she has been putting her money in the bank.So I don't even have the money to retain a lawyer.I will try to get it but I do not know if I can.

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When she walks in at 3:00 a.m., what does she see at home? Are the outside lights off and everything locked up or does she see the porch light still glowing? Is everything inside dark? Are you sound asleep or at least acting as if your are, or are you waiting up for her?

You need to live as if she is no longer a part of your life. Go forward each day making plans with your children and just ignore her presence in the house. Of course, if she directs a question to you, you answer without any emotion as if she was someone you met crossing the street.

Take care of business and the needs of the children. Take care of yourself. Tune her out and do not try to have any lovie-dovie times. She has made her feelings about that....very plain, so no more pursuing.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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I talked to the lawyer on the phone and he said a lot of different thing today than he said last night.He told me that there was no way she could take him but now he is singing a different tune.Any thoughts

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Yes the lights are out and everyone is sleeping.When I hear her come in I wake up and go down and confront her and we argue. I threw her out of the house last week when I caught her at the OM house.We talked the next day and I told her that she could come home because legally I could not keep her out.I know that the OM is going to spot her the money for the lawyer.I have to find a way to get some money now.How do I find a attorney that knows or specializes in fathers rights.

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Quote:
When I hear her come in I wake up and go down and confront her and we argue.


How's that working for you?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Not very well at all.All it causes is a big argument and a fight.We both start saying really bad things to each other.Then she falls asleep and I am up the rest of the night.I just don't like how she is acting around the kids.Staying out all night and doing what ever she wants.

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How come nobody will give me some help or advice?

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MI - get on the net right now...there are lots of dads rights lawyers these days. Are you in a fault state? You gotta prove that affair if so. Be smart.

Arguing with your cheating wife is going to do you no good right now. Keep distant and respectful and do your legal homework!


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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Originally Posted By: mission/impossible
How come nobody will give me some help or advice?


Excuse me??? Sandi and Greek have responded to you, and they are two of the VERY BEST VETS WE HAVE. Reconciled just took the time to write out a VERY detailed post for you. Have you even taken the time to respond to what they've all posted to you?

I'm sorry, that's just rude. I know you're hurting, m/i, and panicked, but "panic" isn't a plan. You need to take a breath, and get to work.

Puppy

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