WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

A little better this morning.. Had a restless sleep though..

I talked to mom over the weekend about moving out. She said she had been considering it before H left but then I needed her so she put it off. I let her know that I couldn't have made it through without her but that I thought her and I needed to stand on our own and create our own new lives. That I didn't want to ruin the positive relationship that we have developed recently by continuing to live with each other and end up resenting each other.

She agreed that this fall would be the best time for her to move out as it will give us time to prepare the kids for it.

Right now my D3 is very attached to her, to the point of running to her when I am trying to be firm. She sees my mom as a way of getting out of doing things or not dealing with me directly when she's done something wrong. And my mom will enable it and not let me stand on my own. In a way, it is the same thing H did with me. I won't accept that in my life any longer. But it scares me witless to finally stand on my own without anyone there as backup. Though it is long overdue.

Whether H comes back at some point or not I need my children to learn to respect me and listen to me (as much as kids do these days.. LOL). That won't happen when she is there to undermine everything I'm trying to do.

I want to create a peaceful environment that will allow my kids to play and grow up to be respectful of others and have boundaries of their own. But my mom has no clue how to do that and is unwilling to learn (she doesn't believe in that "psychological horsecrap"). That is her choice. Mine is to live and raise my kids the way I feel they need to be raised. Without yelling, moody projections and boundary crossing at every level.

It scares the crap out of me though.. That's how I know it is the direction to go in...