I wrote this on another thread, but when I finished I thought--gee, I need to re-read this when I get down. So here it is.
This was someone that had 2 young children, and while I sympathize so much with the people with young kids, I know that there was the "mom" I was before all this, and the "mom" I turned into. I was "there" when my S was young, but....not like now.
Focus on the positives.
There are ways that YOU ARE DIFFERENT. Positive things that would not have happened.
You may have been home with your kids 24/7 if this had not happened--but would you have been "there"? I was with my S for the first 8 years and wasn't.
You mention compassion--don't you know what a gift compassion is? If you are a more compassionate person, every aspect of your life is now "different" in a positive way. Your children, all the people that you come in contact with--they will benefit. I wasn't a compassionate person. I was selfish and self-absorbed. Now I "see" and "feel" when people need me. And I express my needs so much more freely--and they are met in the strangest, most interesting ways. I was very unpopular in school--very mousy, very nerdy, very shy.
I feel like a rock star--I have more friends than I know what to do with. Amazing.
I also went through college in an unfocused way--graduated with barely a C average. Had no direction. Fell into a job. Not what I want to do "for the rest of my life".
I am back in school. Again, focused like I have never been. I want all A's. I am 25 years older than those kids. They are so kind to me--I just love it. I raise my hand first--no more shy, mousy person.
I am now at 47 more toned and fit and healthy than I have ever been in my life. I can focus easily on my exercise goals. I used to HATE exercising. Now it relaxes me.
My H married one person. I am now another. Do I ever want to go back, even if it means losing him? Nope. Adjust, or get out of my way. I'm having way too much fun.
