The journey begins

[Gardener]

CTH,

Quick question to those who are officially Divorced? What did you do on the day it became official?

Here's what I did from my D day post:

Day Journaling,
Friends,
It was surprising how much at peace and how calm I was in court through the proceedings this morning. Even during the drive home.I walked into the house, into the kitchen and - as I just told gima - had a kitchen/dishtowel sobbing meltdown similar to his bathroom/towel scene last night.
What a very, very deep place within the soul, the heart, the psyche that comes from when it does erupt. And erupt it did.

I was alternately okay and not okay throughout the afternoon and evening.
Even though it's fifteen months today since I came home from retreat and she announced out of the blue "I got an apartment," and you would think that these ensuing months would have steeled me for the inevitable, I suddenly felt awfully lost and so very alone in this house today and tonight.

I kept myself busy by readying the house for a 5:15 showing, killing time at Borders during the showing reading some Stosny. A couple of emails and calls from friends, a couple of sentimental/reflective postings put on FB, a couple of hours on this board leaving me and mine behind and offering what I could to you and yours.

After that, a deep, long sleep followed by switching over to a somewhat different - though similar - roller coaster the next morning.
Be ready for anything. Keep yourself busy or idle, alone or surrounded by loved ones. Whatever you need, whatever works for you.