Newmama, in my life I've found that He speaks to me in several ways. I've asked Him to be very blunt with me. You can do the same. Some people notice when they do things over and over, and keep failing that they get the distinct impression that it's God telling them to stop. I'm just not that good at interpreting subtle signs. I need Him to bonk me over the head and SAY it to me plainly.
Another thing you can pray for is to have Him direct your prayer, so that you know you are asking for the right thing. Remembering that if you ask Him to do something often enough, He'll do it, but it may not be in your best interest. Always ask everything in His will. You don't want to tie His hands. He may be working towards reconciliation in your life, but if you ask for H to come back now, for instance, before he's done his journey, he may leave later and it may be for good. However, if you waited until God was through with him and his journey, you may have a happy, fulfilled marriage that lasts the rest of your life... for a small sacrifice of a few years in the middle of it. You see what I mean? I always pray that God brings my H and I back together in love and friendship, but that it is done when He deems us BOTH ready and when His will for us is fulfilled. Only then will we be perfectly matched for each other again.
I have literally, when praying over the couch where my H sleeps, FELT the power come through me. I have literally felt the floor shake and my vision brighten (my eyes were closed and the lights were off at night) and I had to open my eyes to see if the overhead fan was on, which sometimes shakes, to see if there was a "scientific, logical" explanation for it. This happened to me twice.
I've also HEARD a very clear voice in my head twice in my life. Oddly enough, once I prayed that on a certain back road where animals were always killed that he protect them so not so many would die. Then, I was speeding on this road to work and He said clearly in my head "You want me to protect the animals and you speed." LOL. I never drove fast down there again. It was so very clearly a VOICE and it wasn't MINE - it was like someone was in the car talking to me, and it freaked me out totally.
There is also something called laying a fleece before the Lord. I did it when I was 12 and my mother had taken pain pills after breaking her ribs and had a reaction. She was foaming from the mouth and her eyes were rolled up in her head and I kept calling the ambulance but they kept hanging up on me, thinking I was pranking them. I laid a fleece before the Lord, asking Him if my mother was to live, to let a bird land within the next five seconds outside my window on the wire. One did, then I asked if it was truly a sign from Him, to make him fly away within 10 seconds, and it did. Then, just for good measure, I asked Him to make three birds land, and they did. I knew then, and a peace came over me, that she would be OK. Within minutes, her boyfriend, now my stepfather, was at the door. He had an intuition something was wrong and he ran upstairs and carried her down the stairs and to the hospital. I KNOW in my heart that God called him that day, and my mother was fine. There is a biblical basis for this, and it involved an actual sheep's fleece. I find this doesn't work for me anymore, but it may work for you. LOL Maybe you're only allowed to do it once in your life.
I also know that when I pray, if I lower my head, and put both hands on the side of my head, instead of folded in front of me, I get stronger feelings of linking to the Lord. Everyone is different, don't be afraid to experiment with positions, times of day, locations, etc. For instance, I think everyone is closer to the Lord on top of a mountain. That's not just me, there's a lot of biblical and extra-biblical reference to it. For my Vision Quest, I had to climb the top of a mountain and abstain from food and drink for four days and three nights and pray. Moses climbed to the top of a mountain to receive the ten commandments. Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. I'm seriously thinking of camping on top of a mountain soon and fasting and praying for a long weekend just to dedicate my life to the Lord and ask for all that I hope for in my marriage. I'm a little afraid to do it for fear of the crazies out in this world, but I may be able to find another person to do it with me, just leaving me be but watching from a distance, like the medicine man does for a quester.
Oh, another thing is I pray before doing a bible study. I will go online and key in words like audio bible study... the first time I did that, I got an audio bible study of I Peter, and it took me right to the verse and chapter that I needed to hear, about marriage. It was really an answer to my prayer. That can happen also if you ask him to lead, guide and direct you.
If anyone else wants to add something on here, for newmama and anyone else that may be wondering, tell us what works for you and maybe you will help someone out.
Newmama, I also have to say that I didn't "go to church (except when first moving to our town so the kids would meet people) or read the bible" either. Since this began, I have done both, and I highly recommend it. You really get a lot out of it. Here's the audio bible study I found, maybe it will help you also. http://www.audiobiblestudy.org/ And the church has been great, finding a good one, I cry whenever I go there because I just feel the love and it's something I really need right now. I was always afraid of seeming like a "Jesus freak" but now, it's just not even a consideration. Who cares, what I'm getting from this all is peace and a closer connection to God, and as I get that, I find other things in my life just falling into place.
I'm going to share something here. My H was going over our empty apartment for close to a year to "fix" the stove. In the apt, it's code to have one of those old gas on gas stoves that has a heater on the side. Well, this place only has the heater there and in the living room, so we need it. I changed the locks b/c H was using the empty apartment to meet OW and meanwhile, we're close to being foreclosed on for not having the rent to cover the mortgage. Anyway, out of the blue, after praying that God help my financial situation, I get a call at work. It's a rental agency I used maybe 10 years ago. They want to know if I have any apartments to rent. I explain that I do but it needs a stove. The man calls me back and says "go to this xxx store and they have the stove you need." I call, it's $500 for a refurbished stove, AND they'll haul away the old one for free. Really? I've lost over $9,900 in rent for a $500 stove? But, I never would have known about this store and the stoves if this man hadn't called me out of the blue and told me. I call that an answer to my prayer.
AND things like this have been happening to me all over the place lately. It's not just an isolated incident. Things happen that I just call too much to be coincidence. I feel God is working on my side, and in return, I feel I have to work to understand Him more. If I just prayed and said "give me what I need and I'll pray tomorrow and ask you for more stuff." Well, that just wouldn't feel right. So, I repay Him by learning about Him and beginning my walk with Him, by reading the bible and attending church.
