Also, I was thinking a lot tonight about a few things (gee, I'm sure everyone is completely shocked).
As a human being I am seriously concerned about my husbands emotional state. Someetihng is not rigth. I don't know if it's depression or bipolar or something but in the past three years he has dramatically changed into a completely different person.
I want to preface this by saying I understand it doesn't help to try to guess what he is feeling and I know I logically I cannot save him. But I have known this man since I was 12 years old! I knew him for 5 years before we even dated. I know people change but I hurt for him because I feel like somewhere he took a turn and it's just been really bad...
I feel like professionally he is living the "dream" but personally he is self destructing. He has began to escalate his drinking. I do not think he is an alcoholic but I think he is tredding in hot water. He used to have a few beers a few times a week and now it seems it's 4-5 days a week and it's certainly more than a few. He is smoking weed everyday - which used to just be maybe one or two times a month. He is gambling more - I know for a fact he has done this several times this week. He started to see prostitutes. He drinks and drives.
I also feel like emotionally he is somewhat unstable. One minute he will be fine and the next minute - I'm looking at hiim like what just set him off. I believe he has a lot of internal conflict and pain and doesn't know how to deal with it. I believe that he thinks that I am the reason for this. I think that he think that because our sex life was bad, etc that he is unhappy. I am scared for him and for his future because I don't think he has resolved any of his core issues and has tried to escape.
I care about him. I am in a lot of pain right now but I almost feel like he isn't quite with it anymore.
I don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure people are going to say there is nothing I can do. I understand it would not be healthy to confront him about this and that's not my goal. My goal is to get him help.
I'm wondering if I should/could email his therapist and explain my concerns. I don't want any information from the therapist but I know that most people don'tknow about the above issues. I just feel hopelesss.
I also struggle with telling his mom and dad about this. I care so much about him and feel like I need some sort of support in trying to help him or at least someone to watch him and make sure he doesn't go off the deep end. He is living witih his parent's now. No one else knows about the prositute stuff except for me (and his therapist). I am grappling with telling his family because I don't want to say anything unless I think good can come out of it. It is out of concern for his emotional, mental and physical health. His parent's adore me and are really rooting for us. I had a 45 minute conversation with his mom and she told me that no matter what happens they will always love me like their daughter. I expressed to her at that time concerns about his drinking and drug use. She said she was glad I pointed it out. She works in HR and assured me that the conversations between us would reamain private. She thinks Jeff is making a mistake.
