I just finished a book called Love and Respect which I found to be very interesting.
Whenever I hear that "men want this" or "men feel that", I ask some man if it is true--if they say "yes", then I mentally "file it" and try to use it.
One thing I will be asking soon---book says that men get "energized" by our being with them while they work on a project or watch tv or whatever. Just quietly being with them puts them in a good mood.
As I was reading this I thought--well, yes that probably works for the guy whose LL is quality time. But I know some guys who aren't that LL and I plan on asking one of them.
My H's LL is not quality time, yet he does seem to want me to watch his every little move when he works around the house. I thought it was him needing extraordinary amounts of attention. And he likes me to watch TV with him in the evenings.
Another thing I DID ask about and got a huge YES on, was that men want to be appreciated and thanked for working (which I really haven't ever done for various reasons but plan to change that )
And they would much rather be respected than loved. If we're behaving disrespectfully they cannot really love us. (telling them they have to earn our respect is a HUGE NO NO)
This book says if you don't respect them, they can't love you, and when they don't love you, you stop respecting them. This is the "crazy cycle" that begins all the downward spiraling.
This book claims one of the most powerful things you can do to get your R back on track is to tell your H the reasons you respect them. If they are a good father, if they are a hard worker--the worst cases can find SOMETHING.
